hates_leeks | (no subject)

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Going job hunting is annoying. Remind me to never do it again. Especially don't do it with a girl.

I think I actually have to go back to school next week...I don't have an excuse anymore. Stupid efficient immune system.

Since when is this stupid house the place everyone's damn hangout?! I can't get any peace and quiet for even a little nap around here. So instead I made a few icons to try to cancel out all the ugly ones you idiots made.

Haru - I put the blank one on there just in case you wanted to write your own thing on there.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well. That's good. I'm trying too.

Although we do have good reason to hate each other, you know.

...I don't want to. And...I know about...everything. Akito told me.

...oh. Really? Everything?

...yeah.

...Haru doesn't know why I dumped him.

...Akito told me you dumped him because you were planning on killing yourself and you didn't want to hurt him.

He kept...yelling and screaming...that he still loves you...and he could never love me. I am a worthless cat.

...that's not what happened.

Akito called me to see him and told me that if I kept seeing Haru he would hurt him. So I dumped him. And Akito threw me out a window. I loved Haru. I still love him.

And I think he does love you. Even if I wanted him back...he loves you.

I-...I'm sorry...

He told me he still loves you...but he loves me, too...If I don't believe him...it just fucking hurts. I have to...even though I don't know how he could...

He told me that he can love more than one person.

I don't understand that. I don't think I will love anyone other than him in my entire life.

I didn't think anyone could ever love me, Rin. Haru and Kisa proved me wrong. You can't...just give up. That's stupid.

I'm not giving up. I just...I still love him. I don't want to let him go. I dumped him because of Akito and no other reason. I want him. I love him. I have to give him up. He's already moved on. He's with you now.

I'm sorry...

Akito is always right...the only thing I can do is hurt people...

It's not your fault. You didn't know. I just...I'm upset that he started dating someone so quickly after me. he got over me that quickly. I need to stop talking. I'm sorry.

It IS my fault!!! I should've told him no and kicked his ass instead of believing him in the first place. DAMNIT.

No. It's not your fault. And he's the one who started dating someone so soon after me. I'm sure that he loves you. He's incapable of lying about stuff like that. It just hurts. I'm trying to get over him. I'm sorry.

...How can you be so damn sure he loves me when I don't even know half the time?!

Because I know Haru. Very well. And he doesn't lie about that.

...you're using that icon again.

Why is it so hard to trust another person?

...and sorry, we don't have to talk if I'm pissing you off.

I'm using it because it doesn't show my face. Would you rather I use this one?

You're not pissing me off.

It's just...I've hated you this whole time. And not because you're the cat. Because even after I dumped Haru, he followed me everywhere; he kissed me, he hugged me, he came to me in the middle of the night and held me while I was sleeping. And he doesn't do that anymore. Because he has you now. He doesn't need me anymore.

And it's so hard to trust people, because most people are bastards who don't care about anybody but themselves. There is only one person in the universe who has ever loved me.

No.

I guess there is a first time for everything?

Rin, you idiot. He does need you, if anything happened to you it would rip him apart. ((OOC: Mmm beef!! Its whats for dinner! I had to do it XD)) I don't think he thinks someone who dumped him would WANT him to do those things, either.

Then you're obviously doing a better job than I am at driving people away...

How about this one?

...apparently.

No. He doesn't need me. I need to leave. Or something. And he did do those things. Until you.

...at least I've accomplished something.

....

What?

Re: [Private]

hates-leeks.livejournal.com - 2007-09-15 07:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [Private]

isuzukuretsuki.livejournal.com - 2007-09-15 07:13 (UTC) - Expand

Don't leave.

...why not.